


Arsenic and New Lace

by wraithkeeper



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Genderqueer Bucky, Genderqueer Character, Nonbinary Character, Other, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, implied PTSD, transvengers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-07 04:50:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3161858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wraithkeeper/pseuds/wraithkeeper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>aka Bra Shopping for Assassins. Sam takes Bucky shopping for clothes, but Bucky sneaks off to the women's section instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Arsenic and New Lace

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the transvengers prompt "Genderqueer Bucky, first binder/bra/underthing" (Thanks Shadowen for the prompt!)
> 
> Also, I debated on pronouns for this but ultimately figured that at this point Bucky wouldn't be familiar with nonbinary pronouns so he would be using masculine pronouns

Bucky brushed his fingers over the fabric, relishing the way it slid over his skin so softly. He indulged in caressing the undergarment because he knew that for the moment there was nobody watching. Sam had dragged him shopping with the insistence that Bucky needed some of his own clothes instead of just borrowing Steve’s, and Bucky hadn’t really been able to argue. (He was a little sick of every t-shirt having the SHIELD logo on it.) After wandering the men’s section for a while, though, Bucky had slipped away while Sam’s attention was momentarily diverted.

As his metal hand glinted through the lacy edging of the bra, Bucky’s mind fell back into its soldier instincts. He assessed his surroundings again, but there was no one else in the aisle. There were no other shoppers nearby and Sam hadn’t caught up with him yet. Bucky took a breath and forced himself to relax, focusing instead on how right it felt to hold this in his hands. Bucky didn’t know much about bras, but he liked this one’s delicate lace and the shine of the silky red fabric. It was a deeper, richer color than the scratched and faded star that marred his metal arm. Bucky loved the contrast of the color against his skin, and he was eager to feel it against his chest.

A memory flickered at the edge of his consciousness, flashes of a scene from decades ago. He remembered standing in a shop much different from this one and glancing around nervously. Back then he hadn’t taken the time to indulge in exploring the different options – of course there hadn’t been this expansive display of more colors and styles than he could imagine – and had hastily shoved the crumpled undergarment into his jacket pocket before slipping out of the store.

This time Bucky had no intention of sneaking out of the store. Bucky gripped the bra in his right hand – afraid his stronger metal hand might accidentally tear his precious find – and walked out of the bra aisle in search of Sam.

“There you are, man,” Sam said when he saw Bucky. “You ready to go?”

Bucky slipped the bra between two of the sweaters he had picked out earlier, hoping that Sam wouldn’t notice. Bucky nodded in response to Sam’s question and turned to follow the other soldier. No, not a soldier anymore, he reminded himself, just a friend.

They laid the clothing down in front of the girl at the checkout counter, the bra safely hidden under several other items. Bucky forced himself to stand calmly beside Sam even though he felt vulnerable and exposed like a raw nerve revealed by a wound. This was far from the biggest risk Bucky had ever taken, but suddenly waiting for the cashier to find the bra felt more frightening than shipping off to war. Bucky’s eyes darted back and forth, instinctively locating any possible exits. As the girl grew closer to reaching the bra, Bucky calculated the threat of the other shoppers within sight, mentally noting weaknesses he could exploit if he had to fight his way out. He knew he was being ridiculous, that it wouldn’t come to that, but he couldn’t help the tendril of fear that crept up his spine.

The cashier didn’t even pause when she got to the bra, but of course Sam noticed the unexpected addition to their purchases. Sam raised an eyebrow and sent Bucky a bemused glance, but Bucky stood firm. He wouldn’t let himself flinch. He wouldn’t let himself be ashamed. Still, he couldn’t help the little rush of relief when Sam didn’t say anything. Sam handed the girl a credit card (it looked like one of the ones Stark had given them despite Steve’s objections) and Bucky gathered the bags of clothing.

“You know, Bucky,” Sam said casually but kindly as they left the store, “next time we can shop in whatever section you want, right?”

Bucky shrugged, not wanting to reveal just how relieved he was at Sam’s non-reation.

“I like what I got.” Bucky said simply.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you have ideas for continuing this feel free to leave a prompt in the comments and I'll see what I can do!


End file.
